


DIY or Die

by lesbijane



Category: Lumberjanes
Genre: ...i think, Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 00:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21065870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbijane/pseuds/lesbijane
Summary: Being a goddess comes with its challenges, but today Diane faces the toughest of all: making something nice for her girlfriend.





	DIY or Die

**Author's Note:**

> There is literally no content for these two, so I guess I had to take matters into my own hands!

Hes never understood why being in a relationship was something people made a big deal of.

Sure, Mal and Molly got all the attention of being _the_ camp couple, but that was just because of how oblivious they were until they finally admitted their feelings, and how they were practically inseparable now. For them, that made sense.

But ever since she had told Diane how she felt, everyone’s attention was on them instead.

In just the first week, questions were thrown her way not just from her cabin, but scouts she barely knew – What was it like dating _Artemis_? Is it true that Diane has a group of secret huntress girlfriends, who Hes now gets to be a part of? Was Diane going to make _Hes_ a goddess, too?

Thankfully, Diane was more than happy to get this kind of attention. First, it was pretty darn great for them both, second, not anymore, no, and third, she was still debating it.

There was a different kind of attention that drove Diane up the wall.

Emily had gotten all giggly when she’d see the two holding hands. Barney would always note badges neither of them have gotten, and suggest, “You could earn it together!” Even the day they decided to take a quick nap together, Wren interrupted to loudly announce to the rest of the Zodiacs that Diane was the little spoon.

Despite all the commotion, they both had found the quiet spaces and times, which then turned into specific dates to go on, which then turned into routine.

Hes particularly liked meeting with Diane between their activities for the day. Just quick enough of a meetup to hold hands and chat a bit about what badges they just earned before a kiss goodbye, but short enough that they didn’t really have to plan anything ahead of time.

Today, Hes had just finished earning her latest addition to her sash. Even before she completely realized where she was walking, she was on her way to the picnic table they had ended up unofficially claiming during this time of day.

The sun was shining strong, making everything around her feel bright. Hes usually felt at least a little overheated in her bulky sweater, but she liked the texture so much she couldn’t get through a day without it.

The picnic table was right next to the trail to the lake. The path to it was very well-walked, but it went around past the campfire and quite a few trees Hes thought were particularly interesting, (especially the one a woodpecker was also very interested in) so she never found the trek tedious.

Diane was already at her seat, idly drumming her fingers on the table as she worked on something. When she glanced up to see Hes approaching, she practically jumped.

As Hes took her seat, Diane fumbled to hide a small box of objects. “Hes! You’re early!” She tried leaning on the table in a way that would hide the box behind her, “I mean… Don’t you have anything better to do than get here so early?”

“Nope.” Hes took her seat next to Diane, “Don’t you have anything better to do than wait here for me first?”

Diane’s face shone with a half-blush. “No, I mean, I’m the one waiting here for you to show up!”

“…Okay.” Hes pointed, “So. What’s in the mystery box?”

Diane leaned ever so slightly over, hiding it from view even more. “…What box?”

“C’mon.” Hes rested her chin on one of her hands, “The beans. Spill ‘em.”

Diane took a breath in, then out, “I’m… Making you something?”

Hes raised her eyebrows, “You made me a cardboard box?”

“No!” Diane glanced back at the box, “I’m making you something new. You can’t see it yet.”

“Really.” Hes couldn’t quite see the opening of the box – she’d have to lean over to see what was inside. “Can we play twenty questions? First off, is it alive.”

“Uh- Well- Technically? I don’t know!” Diane sighed. “I haven’t finished it yet.”

“Oh.” Hes looked back at the box, then at Diane, “Can I look?”

Diane hesitated, “I haven’t… Finished it yet.”

“Well, yeah, but I want to see it so far. Like, a draft.” Hes did a half-shrug, “I like seeing how things are made.”

“There’s no… It’s either finished or it isn’t.” Diane sighed, “Look.”

Diane held out her hand, and in a flourish of magic, a light blue flower grew up from her palm. As soon as it had bloomed, Diane frowned, picking it and tossing it into the box.

“_Woah_,” Hes stared at the bit of flower still poking out from the box, “Is that for me?”

“Of course not!” Diane scoffed, “That looked exactly like the ones Hades grows in his garden! I can’t just give you something that already exists!”

Hes’ eyes grew wide. “Wait. You’re trying to make me an entirely new thing? Like, something never made before.”

“I kind of have to.” Diane tapped her fingers on the table again, “It’s like, tradition. A god dates someone, you need to make them something. It’s just what we _do_.” She waved her hands in the air, “Which I would if I could actually _make_ something!”

“Maybe you could take a break?” Hes reached over to pull the box closer, “Take some time to brainstorm?”

Diane dramatically flopped facedown on the table. “I need to make it _today_.”

“There’s a time limit?” Hes rifled through the box. Barely blooming flowers, glitter, water in small jars, at least one geode…

“I mean, no,” Diane grumbled, “It’s just that Athena’s been sending me some passive-aggressive texts about how great Poseidon is to make some stupid new deep-sea fish no mortal will discover for hundreds of years for her, and,” Diane rose her voice mockingly, “Oh, what have _you_ made for your new mortal girlfriend? You’ve been taking a _lot_ of time, you must _really_ be putting thought into this!”

“Well, I think It’s okay if you can’t. You’ve already made me a friendship bracelet, that’s enough for me.” Hes held up her arm, showing it off, “I always wear it, you know. I don’t think Athena can wear her new fish every day.”

“I know, but… It’s never been this hard before!” Diane made sure that Hes saw her eyeroll, “Sure, I can turn Orion into a constellation after I kill him, or I can turn one of my exes into a spring, or Callisto into a bear after THAT situation, but I can’t make something nice for my girlfriend, okay!”

“Well, that’s all turning someone into something, not making something for someone.” Hes shrugged, “I’d rather have nothing than be turned into a new kind of tree.”

“Yeah, but-“ Diane gestured vaguely, “Whenever I make a gemstone I remember Dionysus already did that, Persephone made an herb for one of her old girlfriends, and when I try making a flower for you, it looks _exactly_ like the one Apollo did for his boyfriend! All the good ideas are gone!”

Hes wrapped an arm reassuringly around Diane’s shoulder. “Does it really have to be something new?”

Diane sighed, and leaned on Hes, “Yeah, unless I want my myth to be all about how I copied someone else’s work instead of making something ‘from the heart’ or whatever.”

Hes turned her half-hug into a full hug.

Most of the time, talking things out just didn’t help Diane. Not many people understood she usually isn’t looking for a solution – she’s just looking to be angry for a while. Hes felt the same way sometimes. Just mentioning anything she was trying to juggle at the moment would just remind her of how irritating everything was.

Hugs, on the other hand, were a way to show that you care without dialing up the frustration. Even though they’d known each other for only the summer so far, Hes could already tell when Diane was feeling calmer by the way she would soften her breathing. Hes suspected that Diane had a similar sense. When she was the one needing the hug, Diane somehow always knew.

“Can we just… Talk about what you did today instead.” Diane gently pushed herself away from the hug, and started to close up the box of reject items. “Weren’t you earning a badge or something?”

A lightbulb flickered in Hes’ mind. “Oh, yeah!” She dug around in her sweater pocket, “So, I had the _DIY or Die_ badge today, right? And the pottery tables and sewing kits were all being used, so I decided to just make a shrinky dink and get it over with.” She held the object out to Diane, “I didn’t really know what to draw on it, and you’ve been on my mind, so I drew you? It’s kinda lopsided. I also punched a hole in it so you could make it a necklace or an earring or something, but now that I think about it, wearing your own face as jewelry is dorky.”

Diane paused to take the trinket, holding it carefully as she examined Hes’ drawing. “This is… This is the dorkiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Yeah.” Hes felt her face heat up, “I just wanted to give you something. Even if it isn’t… Y’know. You probably get a lot of gifts, since you’re a goddess and all.”

Diane’s eyes shone for a split second. “Okay, wait, just-“ She shuffled through her box, before taking out a small seed.

She waved her hand quickly over the seed, her magic sparkling as it washed over it. After a few seconds, she handed it over to Hes. “Here. New kind of apple. We can name it Hester or something.”

Hes stared at the seed. She rolled it around in her palm, “This is an _entire_ new kind of apple seed?”

“Eh,” Diane shrugged, “Yeah, you’re always complaining about how mushy the mess hall ones are. This one’s going to be crunchy, but kinda tart? Since you’d like that.”

“Diane…” Hes chuckled, “This is-“

“Tch.” Diane held her hands up, “There’s like, seven thousand kinds of apple already. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me.” Hes shook her head, smiling, “This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. Do you think Rosie will let me plant it in the community garden?”

Diane glanced back over to the shrinky dink Hes gave her. Sitting on the table just right, it shined a little in the sunlight.

“Ouhf!” Hes could barely react to the bear hug Diane had just given her. She took a moment to pocket the seed, keeping it safe, before returning the gesture. She laughed as Diane gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Diane mumbled something, as she hid her face in the hug.

Hes couldn’t stop grinning. “Could you repeat that?”

Diane’s voice was still muffled, “I _SAID_ I love you.”

Hes leaned in, close enough to whisper.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
